The “Paradox of Choice” Is Real—Here’s How I’ve Learned to Beat It

I used to think being indecisive was a flaw. Standing in the cereal aisle for 15 minutes? Just me being dramatic. Spiraling over whether to switch careers or stay where it’s safe? Probably overthinking again. But the truth is, I wasn’t being overly sensitive or slow to choose—I was overwhelmed by too many options. And I’m far from alone in that.

Turns out, there's a name for this very real, very modern issue: the paradox of choice. And once I understood what it really meant, it changed how I moved through the world. I stopped viewing every decision as a test and started designing a framework that made choices feel empowering rather than exhausting.

Whether you're navigating big life transitions or just trying to pick a toothpaste, there's a smarter, calmer way to choose.

What Is the Paradox of Choice?

You might’ve heard psychologist Barry Schwartz's now-famous TED Talk, where he unpacks how having too many choices can make us more anxious, not more free. The premise? More options may seem like a gift, but they often lead to paralysis, regret, and self-doubt.

The paradox of choice says this: when we’re given more choices, we don’t feel more satisfied—we often feel more stuck.

This isn't just a “modern problem,” it’s a nervous system overload. Studies show that after a certain threshold (usually around 7 options), our brains begin to struggle with comparison fatigue. Instead of enjoying our freedom, we start questioning our judgment, fearing regret, and sometimes—making no decision at all.

Here’s why it matters: If you're constantly feeling burnt out from decision-making, struggling to commit, or finding yourself chasing “perfect” choices—you’re not bad at deciding. You’re stuck in the paradox of choice.

So how do you get out?

Step One: Redefine What It Means to “Choose Well”

Before we get tactical, let’s shift the mindset around choice itself. Many of us were taught that the “best” decision is the one with the most benefits and the least drawbacks. But here’s the problem: every decision comes with trade-offs. And chasing the flawless option will keep you on the hamster wheel of doubt.

1. Good Enough Is Often Better Than Perfect

A well-informed, aligned choice that supports your current needs—even if it isn’t perfect—is still a smart decision. Perfection isn’t the goal; clarity and intention are.

2. The Myth of the “Right” Path

There’s rarely one correct choice. In fact, research shows we tend to adapt to our choices over time. It's called the “psychological immune system”—our minds help us rationalize and commit once we decide. The real trick is learning how to trust ourselves after the choice.

3. Use “Alignment” Over “Optimization”

Instead of optimizing every decision (career, apartment, partner), ask: Does this align with my values, goals, and season of life? That lens is far more clarifying—and far less stressful—than comparing endless features or pros.

Step Two: Create a Personal Decision Filter (Instead of a Pros-and-Cons List)

Let’s be honest—pros and cons lists sound smart, but they’re rarely helpful when you're in emotional overload. Instead, I use what I call a Decision Filter—a small, custom list of values or needs that help me evaluate choices without spiraling.

How to Build Your Decision Filter

1. Start With Your Current Season of Life Are you in a season of growth, healing, rest, or ambition? Your current energy and priorities should directly shape your choices.

2. Identify 3-5 Core Needs or Values Ask yourself: What do I need this decision to support? For example, freedom, stability, creative growth, connection, or health.

3. Evaluate Choices Through That Lens Only Every time I feel overwhelmed by options, I go back to these 3–5 words. If a choice doesn’t align, it’s an easy no—or at least a pause.

Studies from Columbia and Stanford have found that people presented with 24 jam flavors were ten times less likely to make a purchase than those offered only 6. More choice led to more paralysis, not more satisfaction.

Step Three: Reduce Micro-Decisions to Preserve Mental Energy

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that decision fatigue doesn’t just come from big life moments—it’s compounded by the dozens of tiny choices we make every day. What to eat, what to wear, which email to answer first. All of it adds up.

1. Automate What Doesn’t Need Soul

This might sound basic, but automating low-stakes decisions creates mental space. I rotate a few outfits, meal prep by theme (think “Taco Tuesday”), and stick to a morning routine that doesn’t require much thought.

2. Practice “Pre-Deciding”

Whenever I find myself rehashing the same daily decisions (do I work out today?), I pre-decide. That means making one upfront decision that removes dozens later. It’s simple, but powerful.

3. Create a “Decision-Free Zone”

Designate certain times or spaces where no decisions are made—maybe Sunday evenings or your morning commute. Just pause. Breathe. Let your brain reset.

Step Four: Know When It’s Time to Decide—And When It’s Time to Wait

Sometimes, the best choice isn’t “yes” or “no”—it’s not yet. But how do you tell the difference between thoughtful waiting and anxious avoidance?

Four Signs You’re Avoiding a Decision

• You’re stuck in analysis mode for more than a few weeks without gaining clarity.
• You keep researching or asking for more opinions, but feel less sure each time.
• You say, “I’ll know when I know,” but secretly hope the answer drops from the sky.
• You feel drained by the indecision itself—it’s costing you energy, focus, or peace.

If that’s the case, it’s time to lovingly push forward. Decision-making is like a muscle: the more you practice small, values-based choices, the more confident you get in bigger ones.

A Gentle Reframe: The Cost of Not Choosing

We often fear the wrong choice more than we fear the consequences of not choosing. But not deciding is also a decision—it just hands your power to circumstances or other people. Taking aligned action, even if imperfect, builds momentum and clarity.

Step Five: Use a “Low-Stakes Trial” Mindset When Facing Big Life Shifts

One of the most empowering mindsets I’ve adopted is treating big choices like experiments rather than permanent declarations. The truth is, most decisions are more reversible than they feel.

Try Before You Buy (Life Edition)

Thinking about a career switch? Freelance or shadow someone in that field. Want to relocate? Try a short-term rental in the new city first. Want to go back to school? Audit a course or start with one class.

Think in Seasons, Not Lifetimes

Instead of asking, “Can I do this forever?” ask, “Could this serve me well for the next season?” Most things are not forever—but they may be exactly what you need right now.

Step Six: Use Micro-Reflection, Not Overthinking

Sometimes clarity comes from doing, not thinking. The best insight often shows up after we’ve made the choice—but only if we’re paying attention.

Here’s a reflection technique I swear by: At the end of the week, I jot down two quick questions in my journal or Notes app:

• What decisions felt good and grounded this week?
• Where did I feel stuck or uncertain, and why?

You don’t need an elaborate system. A few minutes of honest reflection each week will show you patterns, values, and what’s working—or not.

True Takeaways

• Build a Decision Filter based on your current values and season of life—let it guide, not overwhelm.
• Let go of “perfect”—a good-enough choice aligned with your needs is better than endless optimization.
• Automate or pre-decide the small stuff to protect your energy for the big decisions that matter.
• Try a low-stakes trial instead of full commitment when making a life shift—think seasonal, not eternal.
• Reflect weekly to notice what choices felt aligned—clarity often lives in hindsight, not in the moment.

The Choice Isn’t Everything—What You Do After Is What Matters

Here’s what I’ve learned, after years of coaching clients through transitions, switching careers myself (twice), and endlessly wrestling with “the best” choice: The outcome rarely matters more than how you show up after the decision.

You don’t need more options—you need a stronger filter. You don’t need to get it perfect—you just need to get moving. And you don’t need to know the ending—just the next right step.

So, the next time you find yourself standing in the metaphorical cereal aisle—whether it’s about your job, your relationship, or your next chapter—pause. Take a breath. Choose based on who you are today, not who you were yesterday or who you think you “should” be tomorrow.